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Lilitu Rodac | Cult Survivor's avatar

Beautiful! To your true, authentic self 🥂 It's a hard road to travel to find yourself.

I love you started where most women try to find the answer first: marriage. It's never there, even in great marriages. Our true, authentic self is only within us, no one else.

Barb | The Midlife Becoming's avatar

Thank you. I agree that no relationship can give us what only self-trust can. I think many of us spend years looking outward before realizing the answers have been waiting within us.

Rev. Kevin T. Taylor's avatar

Barb, “Their opinions have become information, not permission” reveals the freedom at the center of this essay. Self-trust can preserve counsel while changing its role, allowing wisdom from others to inform a choice without carrying responsibility for the chooser’s safety. The two dresses become competing identities, showing how easily a decision can become a referendum on whether we are lovable, capable, or prepared for whatever follows. Grateful for the honesty and craft with which you traced imperfect choice into a fuller confidence that you can meet what comes next.

Eva Fanari's avatar

Seeking wisdom and seeking reassurance are two different things ... that really rang a bell for me. Beautiful!

Barb | The Midlife Becoming's avatar

Thank you, Eva. That distinction became so clear to me as I was writing it. Seeking wisdom can be grounding. Seeking reassurance can sometimes pull us further away from our own voice. I’m so glad that part resonated with you.