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Dana Tanaro Britt's avatar

Hugs. What a beautiful tribute to the great love that brought this great grief. The world is never quite right when our mother is gone from it. Thank you for sharing, Barb xo

Barb | The Midlife Becoming's avatar

Thank you so much. The world is forever changed, but the message that I hope readers walk away with, is your loved one is forever woven into every fiber of you. That makes me smile.

Dana Tanaro Britt's avatar

I absolutely took that comforting reminder from your words, Barb. xo

Barb | The Midlife Becoming's avatar

That makes me so happy. I am so glad.

Rev. Kevin T. Taylor's avatar

Barb, this is such a compassionate and clarifying way to explain why grief can feel so physical, immediate, and disorienting years after a loss. The recovery room moment with your mother gives the science emotional weight because it shows how the brain can still reach for the person it learned to expect in moments of vulnerability. I was especially moved by your explanation that the brain is not failing when it keeps finding her in coffee, gravy, autumn light, or hospital fog; it is revealing how deeply love was mapped into the nervous system. Thank you for giving readers both language and comfort for the moments when memory feels less like remembering and more like being visited.

Barb | The Midlife Becoming's avatar

Thank you so much for this, Rev. Taylor. “Memory feels less like remembering and more like being visited” — that’s exactly it, and you said it more beautifully than I did. I’m so glad this resonated.

Rev. Kevin T. Taylor's avatar

Barb, you gave the experience its shape first. The recovery room moment, the coffee, the gravy, the autumn light, and the hospital fog all showed how grief can arrive through the body before the mind has time to prepare. That is why the piece offered such comfort: it helped make those visitations feel understandable without making them feel smaller. Thank you for writing grief with such tenderness and clarity.